Dating n sex
Deep down, she doesn't really enjoy being with him. Since "girls use sex to get love, and guys use love to get sex," a couple will have sex before marriage. The guy does it because he wants it even more than the relationship itself. Now that I'm out of college and many people around me are getting married, I'm seeing it happen all the time.Then, after the marriage, the woman has what she wants: a commitment from the man. And, because she may be harboring resentment because he had sex with her before they were married, she is now not interested in sex. The antidote: waiting for marriage to have sex will give the man a greater respect for his wife and the woman a greater respect for her husband.So you would imagine that having sex would have been completely fulfilling -- the crowning achievement in the worship of my "god." And yet, there was often a lack of fulfillment afterwards. Why is it that sex, if it's so important to me, leaves me with an empty feeling? I then concluded: "I just need more [sex], that's all." (We often think this way about stuff we hope will fulfill us, then doesn't.For example, we get the car we've always wanted, but then it's just "okay" after awhile. There wouldn't be any "emptiness." I've found that girls often don't fully understand what's going on when it comes to sex.I've seen this happen with countless relationships, not just others of my own, but those of many other people.
When I was in college, I remember having an experience that I referred to as a "love hangover." After being with a girl, the next morning I always felt an emptiness.Instead of realizing that a car can't really satisfy us, we usually make the error of thinking, "Well, I guess that wasn't the one will give me lasting fulfillment.") But the emptiness continued. That is, their perspective on the whole thing is very different from a guy's.So, finally, I came to the conclusion that premarital sex wasn't all it's cracked up to be. Often a girl will justify sex by saying, "But I love him," even if she doesn't really want to go through with it. It's been said that, "Girls use sex to get love; guys use love to get sex." This is how it works: the girl is picturing marrying the guy some day; the guy is picturing everything he wants to do with the girl before he goes back to tell his buddies about it.If you have a girlfriend now and feel that way, think of how much stronger that feeling will be with your wife someday. That's what I mean by "sex killed my best relationships." People can relate on many different levels -- emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually.But when my girlfriend and I started relating mostly physically, it short-circuited the other parts of our relationship.