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I was deeply ashamed of my sexual interest even before my mother discovered my porn when I was 14 and told me I was a pervert that no decent woman would ever want.When I met my wife, our sex life was okay—but I was never fully present, because I would have to concentrate on my fantasies in order to sustain an erection. My wife knew I was masturbating in the middle of the night instead of having sex with her, and that led to some enormous fights.I did allow for the possibility that my sample was skewed; people with good sex lives don't write to tell me everything's fine.So I invited people whose so-so sex lives improved after the wedding to write in.Better Erotic Ties Totally Enhanced Relationship Last week, I responded to IMDONE, a woman who married a man despite the sex being "infrequent and impersonal" during their courtship.
He can't read my body language, so a lot of the improvement came down to me being more comfortable with giving him instructions.
I won't say it's been fairy-tale perfect—the kind of perfect that makes you barf and roll your eyes—but it's been pretty damn close.
My wife has been incredibly GGG, and I hope I have been, too. Now you know there's at least one couple out there whose sex life has only gotten better over the years.
It sounds cheesy, but marriage counseling really helped.
It helped my husband understand himself and his reactions better, and it helped cement the idea of "ours" instead of "yours" as it related to the problems I was dealing with at the time.
I had trust issues and guilt issues—boring stories—and I got a lot more comfortable once we'd made that commitment.